A Nightingale In A Golden Cage

Ah, blogger. It's been so long since we've talked.

So...I'm in college now. Surprise, surprise.

I actually fell down the stairs on my first day. It hurt, too. A lot. My suitemates are awesome. So are my roomies. One of them is from my church and the other is her friend from school. Suite, eh? Haha that's punny.

Well...let's see. I'm taking Animal Science 1 and my Professor is from New Jersey. He's quite funny and a little absent-minded. He reminds me of Emma's dad, except he has more gray hair.

My math professor is difficult to understand. He's got a very thick asian accent. I think I understand him better than some, but it's still a tad difficult. And he's teaching things in completely different ways than I was taught at PHS. I still think PHS does it mo' betta.

My English professor is like David Tennant + Graber. And he's a little more flamboyant than they are. And he drops the f-bomb at least once every class. First day it was twice. Yesterday it was thrice. His hair is completely white, yet I don't think he's past his mid-40s. He's also hilarious.

And for my freshman seminar class on Dr. Strangelove and finding humor in nuclear war.....well, my professor reminds me of Ms McMillan. 'Cept the Prof's a little taller, maybe. And isn't quite as fashionable. And has hair that's a mixture of Hermione Granger + Rogue (from X-Men). But she's still funny. And I enjoy talking with her.

Yep.

As for myself? Well....I didn't fall down the stairs yesterday, which was a good thing. And now I'm sick, along with half my other suitemates. I essentially don't have much of a voice. Which sucks.

And I also have to leave for my animal science class now. So...yeah. That's all for now, folks. Laters.

Wow. Fitz was right. It's been awhile since I've posted.

Ok. Summer. So....

I went to Denver for three weeks with my brother. Great bonding time. We're definitely a lot closer now. I'm being so serious right now. No sarcasm at all. Seriously. Got to see my aunts and cousins and uncle and grandmother. Good times. Two of my cousins are due soon. One in October. The other either two weeks before or after. Can't remember. Met a new cousin. Daughter of my cousin's girlfriend. 12 years old, I think. More like second cousin, but who's counting? I like her a lot. She's pretty cool.

My cousin has a HUGE Great Dane named Thor. Fitting name, I thought. And his sister has a English Bulldog named Malice. Name hardly fits the dog; he's a sweetie-pie.

One of the weeks in Denver I spent at church convention, which was actually really good for me. I reconnected with my faith and was able to work through some things concerning my parents. I still have a lot of anger towards both of them, however, and that will likely take years to get over. But the first step is moving out and getting on with my own life. Well, I'm not really moving out, but I'm going to college and living in a dorm this year. Maybe next year I'll be ready for the apartment.

Oh, yeah. That's right. I'm going to college. Oops. Forgot. UC Davis. At least ten to twelve hours away. And I'll be alone. Well, I'll have a roommate - two, actually. But I mean....no one to make my food for me....or pay for my gas (not that I'll need any at college this year)....or fix my car....huh....well that's about all my parents do at the moment besides pay for college....and that's only my dad....well, they do buy groceries. But that's easy. I do that on my own when I need stuff. So I guess it won't be so hard this year. What comes next year will be bills. *shudder* Ew. Bills. Gross.

And I have to get a credit card this year for emergencies. Dad said so. I don't like credit cards. I see what my mother and other irresponsible people do with them and I shudder. I don't want one. I like my cash, thankyouverymuch.

Anywho...once upon a time, I was talking about church convention. Oh, yeah. So it was great. Heard a lot of good things, had a personal visit with one of the visiting ministers that's known me since I was born, and bonded with other people. Funnily enough, it doesn't matter what field or state I'm in, I still don't find much in common with the kids my age that aren't related to me. I always tend to find more in common with people that are above a certain age. Well, the fact that I stayed in the kitchen working almost constantly probably didn't help....

Anywho, after the last day, we all went to one of my aunts' houses for pizza. My cousins Hazy and Tyler had come for that Sunday of the convention with their mom. We don't see them very often because they live in Nebraska on a ranch, which is AWESOME. I'd like to go back there some day. Anyways, after that, there were many adventures with the cousins. My brother, and two of our cousins, and I went to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. My brother went out to Lake Powell for a fishing trip. I went to the Denver Zoo and the Denver Aquarium. There was an indoor trampoline gym that we went to as well. It was tiring.

Then we came back. My brother was sad to leave. He really does dislike being at home so much that he feels more at home with my aunt and her family. That's his escape, I guess. Visiting them, being with them, etc. Oh, I rode bareback at my aunt JoAnn's house up in the mountains. Her house is shaped like golfball. I so want to buy it from her someday. It's awesome and so incredibly beautiful up there. Anyway, I rode her horse Indigo bareback down the hill to get the mail one day and got sunburned, but it was a fun experience. I nearly fell off a couple times - it's harder than I thought to stay on the horse without a saddle!

I didn't have any compulsions or depressed days up there at all. Like I said, it was healthy for me. When I got back, I completely overhauled my room and got rid of a bunch of stuff. Reorganized too. Came to the unfortunate realization that I have too many clothes. That, or I need more space to store stuff. Come to think of it, I do need a new shelf. And I could get rid of that stuffed animal thing near my second desk....

I'm sitting on Jessie's couch next to her brother. She's sitting at the computer. We're watching Spiderman. And her brother is getting on my nerves. I swear this kid is like ADD or something. He won't shut up and he thinks his comments are intelligent. Sorry Cassandra, Jessie. My patience is thin at the moment. I must be PMSing.

"Who am I? You sure you wanna know?" No, Tobey Macguire, I don't wanna know. I don't like this movie. It's a so-so on my list. I saw Julie and Julia last night. It was cute. Meryl Streep was amazing. Saw The Time Traveller's Wife today. That made me cry a the end. Anywho, kinda want to see G.I. Joe just for Chris Eccleston. Speaking of the Doctor, saw David Tennant at the Doctor Who panel at Comic-con. And can I say, "FRAKKING AWESOME."

Yes. Frak. I have delved into the world that is Battlestar Galactica. And it's also frakking awesome. Haven't finished the first season yet, as I've spent a couple weeks catching up on Angel. Didn't like the ending of the fifth season.

Now I'm bored. And tired. Think I'll zone out and just read fanfiction. And get some icons. yeah.

Laters.

It's over. I can't believe it.

I thought I was going to cry. I would have bet money that I was going to cry. And, surprisingly, I didn't.

The ceremony was wonderful. The Die Lieders sang beautifully, Jake's solo was a song I sang in 5th grade (which made it even cooler), and Chanell's solo was amazing. I teared up during "For Good" but didn't cry.

I sat there in my chair the whole time, hoping that my calculations were correct, that each teacher would hand out diplomas to four rows and then switch. That way, one of my most favorite teachers would give me mine. I could have been shaking for all the excitement I had. And when my row stood up, I couldn't keep the smile off my face. Believe me, I tried. I wanted to look serious, but I just couldn't stop smiling. And then, when I was just two people away, I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling too much. And then Brian went up the two steps and took his diploma. And I waited for Mr. Maxie to call my name. When he did, I couldn't stop from smiling anymore. I took those last two steps and I was so very happy to take my empty diploma thingy from Dr. Fitz. I wonder what happens to those pictures they take while you're getting your diploma....

Getting my diploma from one of my favorite teachers absolutely made my day. Not that my day wasn't already made by the whole graduation thing, but it just made it even more amazing.

After the ceremony, I hurried over to the Poway Rock to meet up with family and grab my diploma (which I was first in line for). Bethany tackled me once I got there, picked me up, and swung me around and around. It was fun. After I got my diploma, I gave big hugs to Emma and Jessica and Jessie and Bethany and pretty much anyone I knew who I found. My dad finally came down, followed shortly thereafter by my mother and Vejaya, who had never been to an American graduation ceremony before. It was an honor for her to come to mine and have it be her first. I took my phone and my camera from my dad, gave him a hug, and had him start to take pictures. My mom came down, gave me a lei (spelling?) with legit flowers and a bouquet. More pictures were taken - especially by Kami, who'd brought her awesome expensive Canon DSLR. I'm still waiting for those, fyi.....*hint hint Kami*

Anywho, then after many pictures had been taken, I bid adieu to my parents and Vejaya just in case I didn't find them again that night, and went off in search of more friends and teachers to take pictures with. We found Stacy Moon and Abbey Howe and many other people and then finally ran into my favorite Golden Trio: Fitz, Graber, and Lewis (alphabetical order, ftw). I got pictures with all of them and even when I wasn't posing with someone, Kami kept snapping pics. I made some pretty weird faces. I tried to get a pic with Lewis, Fitz, and Graber at the same time, but in most of them, they were all looking off in a different direction or were talking to someone else.

And then Emma found me again and took me off to her family, who had another bouquet for me. They all gave me hugs and we decided to go back to the cars to drop everything off. But not before I gave one final hug to my two favorite teachers EVER: Lewis and Fitz. After that we trekked back to the Faculty Parking Lot where both Emma and I were parked - oh yeah, I had to get my keys from Fitz because they were in his pocket. Anywho, Emma's mom took my flowers home, we dumped our flower leis in the back of my car, along with our caps and gowns, and grabbed our clothes to change in the bathroom. On the way there, we met Lewis, who was heading home for the night, then changed, came back, made some last minute calls, and went to Grad Nite 2009.

Needless to say, Grad Nite was so AWESOME that I can't even begin to describe just how AWESOME it was. There was DDR, Guitar Hero, a chocolate fountain, a lemonade fountain, a candy bar (a bar for candy), coffee, a DJ, tattoos, a hypnotist, a pool table, an ice sculture in the shape of a guitar that they poured energy drinks into, fortune tellers, handwriting analyzers, hair stylists, a rock wall, a giant slide, carnival rides, a money machine, a dress-up photography booth, jewelry-making booths, carnival games, raffles, free food, a casino, paparazzi, cool prizes - it was SOOO COOL.

I put a lot of my raffle tickets in this raffle for Birch Aquarium tickets. The nerd in me screamed when I won them along with a gas card. I also won this random action figure that I don't remember signing up for....but it came with a cool Victorinox Swiss U. backpack. I got some stickers for my bro and a cool hand-painted box that I think I'll take with me to college. Jake got the bike he wanted, Evelyn got the dorm comforter that she wanted, Bethany won posters, JT won a bike, Emily won a giant bear, and Linzi won something that I can't recall.

Anyway, after partying for eight straight hours, I was surprisingly awake enough to drop Emma off at her house and drive home. And of course when I got home and unlocked the front door, I found that it was chain-locked. So I had to ring the doorbell and wake my mom up so that she could let me in. >_<>

Sooo it's like, a new year in a manner of speaking. New school year, that is. I'm a senior. And so many of my friends are leaving for college. I thought that I'd be more effected, but part of me knows that I'll see the closest ones again. Someday. Merlin knows when. I bet you I'll be very effected next year, when Ems and I are off to big ol' Washington (the state) for college and everyone else is staying down here. It'll suck, kinda, to have to say goodbye. Oh well; that's what facebook and the internet and email and instant messaging are all for.

This summer hasn't been that great. I've had a bout of depression like every other week and because of it, I've been advised to drop one of my three AP classes. How pathetic is that? There are kids taking all APs and I have to drop one of my three. I think that's rather pathetic. But maybe I'm just being critical of myself.

Anyways, I can't think of anything else to say of importance. Soo...cheers, for now.

Sooo

Summer, double oh-eight. That's right. Hmm. Surprisingly, it's nearly half-way over. Which is depressing in some ways. Idk. I like school. I'm a nerd like that. Except, I'm afraid I'm going to utterly fail at AP Lit...and AP Gov. Maybe? I dunno...

Anywho...

Let's see. As usual, I'm slacking on my summer assignments. It's to be expected. Most students do that, right?

So...let's see. The fourth of July was the other day, which most people know. It was fun. Soccer, frisbee, dancing......all that jazz. Sure, I felt icky afterwards....because of those little rubber things from the football field...but other than that it was a blast. Met some new people....yeah.

I went to a pool party yesterday. It was...eventful, I suppose, what with water gun fights, roasting marshmallows and - oh yeah - DAVID ANDERBERG!!!!! Yeah. So now we're going to see The Dark Knight at 3:10 AM!!! Yep. He's gonna pick me up whenever and then drop me off afterwards. It'll be EPIC. An' you know why? Because it's David Anderberg (who's awesome btw) and THE DARK KNIGHT!!!! SOOO AWESOME.

Honestly, I don't know much about the original story from the comic books, but I'm pretty sure that these two Batman movies pwn the others so far. You know what I need to read, but haven't for the longest time? The X-Men comics that Joss Whedon wrote. I'm pretty sure the next few installments have been released and I only have the first three....

Anywho. So I'm totally excited about Hellboy II. And I know very few are, but it's seriously AMAZING. Yeah. This summer is pretty awesome, movie-wise. Oh, and Breaking Dawn comes out August 1, 2008 - or at least it does for me. Most people can't get it 'til the second, but I get it the first because of the release party in La Jolla. AWESOME, yes? it comes complete with a vamp costume contest. So yay!

Anywho....I have nothing else to update. Oh wait!

In Summer School PE '08 Anthony elbowed me in the face by accident. We were playing Ultimate Frisbee and we both went for it (on the same team too) and he elbowed me in the face. I have a black eye.

Go Download these songs NOW:
1. Wine Red by The Hush Sound
2. What's A Girl To Do? by Bat For Lashes
3. Around the World by ATC
4. I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry
5. Omnibus by Laut Sprecher

I just learned that another of my friends has cancer.

Is there a reason that the people that know me best are slowly being taken from me? My best friend ever moved. Now one of my other best friends has cancer. Terminal cancer. If cancer were a person, I would have taken it out by now.

And now everyone's on my back for a different reason and you know...it's getting really tiresome to deal with it all. I just kinda want to run....

I feel like Buffy when she came back to Sunnydale. No one saw the bigger picture in her case. Well you know what, Mom? You NEVER see the bigger picture. You only see YOURS. That's all anyone sees. No one looks around to see that there's a bigger picture and more going on than what they see.

High School drama sucks.

Ok, so Winter Formal was this past weekend and it was my first high school dance without two of my best buds. I suppose you could call them my equivalent wing men - er...girls...

Anywho, so because Angie, Monty's girlfriend, and Chris, Linzi's boyfriend were both at Confirmation, Monty and Linzi went together. I went with Clifford. Needless to say, all hell broke loose the moment we arrived. Linzi and Monty didn't sit together at dinner. Linzi wanted to take a couple picture with Monty (for some reason unknown to all of us) and he didn't want to. That's when the moodiness began.

Some background info: apparently Linzi had a crush on Monty at some point or another and he thought that by dancing with her, she would take it the wrong way. He also didn't want to dance with her because of his relationship with Angie.

So, because Monty wouldn't slow dance with her, Linzi slow danced with Clifford. yes, I know, wasn't he my date? He was, but for the sake of hopefully getting rid of some drama, I just let her dance with him. Yeah, I didn't get to dance with him at all, but that's ok, I suppose. 'Tis the story of my life.

Anywho...when I asked if I could do anything to help, Linzi told me that the "least I could do was ask Monty what was going on." So, because I knew already his reasons (he'd told me before we took our group picture), I told him that he should talk to Linzi. I convinced him to do it that moment, so they went outside to talk.

They came back in, and the first thing Monty said to me was that Linzi thought that I was "scolding him for no reason at all." At that point, I realized what she was doing and I gave up.

The rest of the night was just depressing. Monty had the courtesy to ask me if I wanted his jacket because it was freezing outside (several of us decided to sit outside and extract ourselves from the rest). I denied, of course, because I didn't want to wear a sports jacket over my dress, not to mention that I wasn't that cold.

My Jellies dug into the backs of my feet on the way out and Craig, Emily's date, offered to carry me. I denied again, because I'm pretty sure I weigh MORE than he does. Anywho, some of us went to Denny's, as is our tradition.

Emily was wearing Craig's jacket and she fell asleep on his shoulder. He helped her out of the Ghetto-mo-van and walked her to the door. He even let me use his shoulder to lean on when we were waiting for my mom to unlock said Ghetto-mo-van. Just watching he and Emily made me depressed. I know it's not Emily's fault that she gets all the nice guys, but just once, I'd like a nice, non-creepy, guy that I actually pick out myself. Not someone that picks me, or someone who bestows me with the privilege of being the girl that he likes. That's not good enough. I have to like them back. And a nice guy like Craig would never like a girl like me. Which is why Winter Formal was just frakking depressing.

And now that I'm done; I can finally post this and hope that no one involved in this reads it and gets offended and then proceeds to become angered with me.

Cheers.